I caught this over at Hot Air. It's a pretty big Say What? moment:
I don’t know if you know this or not, but one of his favorite topics of humor was indeed Chappaquiddick itself. And he would ask people, “have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick?” That is just the most amazing thing. It’s not that he didn’t feel remorse about the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, but that he still always saw the other side of everything and the ridiculous side of things, too.
That's one of Ted Kennedy's old friends, an ex-editor of Newsweek and the NYT. Only in the surreal world of the political sycophant could you say that your hero sees the lighter side of things because he jokes about a woman that was left in his car to drown and die. "She died, huh? How ridiculous."
Audio:
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
"He Floated Over On His Carpet, Looked Me In The Eye, And Said No."
The Onion's on a roll. This piece endears their writers to me more than any other from the past year. The elephant in the room, the genie in a bottle, it's all in there. Gorgeous.
Here, they skewer the bogus sports "journalists" that have covered for baseball's juicers over the past decade. Replace the word "genie" with the word "steroids" and there's virtually no difference between the below "senior baseball analyst" and the hacks from ESPN, TSN, Yahoo Sports, Fox Sports...
Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use
Here, they skewer the bogus sports "journalists" that have covered for baseball's juicers over the past decade. Replace the word "genie" with the word "steroids" and there's virtually no difference between the below "senior baseball analyst" and the hacks from ESPN, TSN, Yahoo Sports, Fox Sports...
Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use
Friday, August 21, 2009
Money-Money-Money...
Reuters: The Obama administration will raise its 10-year budget deficit projection to roughly $9 trillion from $7.108 trillion in a report next week, a senior administration official told Reuters on Friday.
"The new forecasts are based on new data that reflect how severe the economic downturn was in the late fall of last year and the winter of this year," said the official, who is familiar with the plans.
Whoa. That's quite a hike. Two trillion bucks. $2000000000000.00. Or two million million. However you look at it, what did this new data do, fall out of the sky and land in the Oval Office with an announcement of, "Sorry! Forget to tell you?" 2009 is winding down and we're still finding out just how bad 2008 was. Interesting. Equally interesting that this kind of news always comes out at the end of the week.
It seems like only a month ago the administration used the "worse than we thought" excuse. But I'm wrong. It wasn't a month ago. It was three weeks ago.
In other news, the guy who made that Obama Joker poster got outed. Turns out he's just some guy in Chicago that kind of likes Obama, kind of doesn't.
As for me, I think I know what the Joker makeup on that poster symbolizes. Take it away, Joel...
"The new forecasts are based on new data that reflect how severe the economic downturn was in the late fall of last year and the winter of this year," said the official, who is familiar with the plans.
Whoa. That's quite a hike. Two trillion bucks. $2000000000000.00. Or two million million. However you look at it, what did this new data do, fall out of the sky and land in the Oval Office with an announcement of, "Sorry! Forget to tell you?" 2009 is winding down and we're still finding out just how bad 2008 was. Interesting. Equally interesting that this kind of news always comes out at the end of the week.
It seems like only a month ago the administration used the "worse than we thought" excuse. But I'm wrong. It wasn't a month ago. It was three weeks ago.
In other news, the guy who made that Obama Joker poster got outed. Turns out he's just some guy in Chicago that kind of likes Obama, kind of doesn't.
As for me, I think I know what the Joker makeup on that poster symbolizes. Take it away, Joel...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Faintheart
To paraphrase: "They may take our lives, but we'll never take their freedom."
Disgraceful news from the land of kilts and bagpipes:
The Lockerbie bomber tonight landed in Libya to a hero's welcome as thousands greeted him at the airport waving flags and posters.
Hours after leaving jail, Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi boarded a plane back to his homeland.
His release prompted a furious reaction from America with Barack Obama branding it a mistake.
As a guy over at Hot Air pointed out, the terrorist spent 11.57 days in jail for each one of his victims.
Disgraceful news from the land of kilts and bagpipes:
The Lockerbie bomber tonight landed in Libya to a hero's welcome as thousands greeted him at the airport waving flags and posters.
Hours after leaving jail, Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi boarded a plane back to his homeland.
His release prompted a furious reaction from America with Barack Obama branding it a mistake.
As a guy over at Hot Air pointed out, the terrorist spent 11.57 days in jail for each one of his victims.
Apple Sauce and Cow Dung
A major league boneheaded remark from the premier of Ontario:
Toronto Sun: "I think that the Conservatives are bringing kind of a small view to what we're doing here," McGuinty said. "We are participating in a remarkable adventure largely without precedent in the annals of human history. We're inviting people to come here from the four corners of the world.
"It's only natural and predictable that in those circumstances from time to time there will be a little bit of friction ... we need a place in a civilized society to address those kinds of concerns," he said.
"Inviting people to come here from the four corners of the world." Yeah, that's never been done before. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free in Wawa, Ontario. Who knew?
His remarks are in defense of the Ontario Human Rights Commission, an organization whose goal is not about human rights but about telling you how you should live your life.
It should be scary when a politician defends a social program by declaring it's a great adventure that's never been done before. Picture the conversation:
"You sure about this?"
"No idea. But it's going to be great!"
"How do you know?"
"Don't. But it's great!"
"But..."
"Stop asking so many questions. You're ruining the adventure."
"Great."
Adventure and Government. Those words go together about as well as apple sauce and cow dung.
The Ontario human rights racket is run by Barbara Hall. Here she is in the same Sun piece:
The commission is also working on forcing transit systems in Thunder Bay, Sudbury and Hamilton to call out all stops for visually impaired passengers and is keeping a close eye on Oshawa and other municipalities who have tried to restrict the growth of student housing through zoning by-laws.
The public education role will also be beefed up, she said.
"In the past we had one staff person for the whole of Ontario that did public education," Hall said. "Now we will have more and we'll have the capacity to work with communities on the education that is the best for them."
Keeping a close eye on...beefed up...best for them...
Sounds pretty innocent to me. Oh, and by the way, when she says "now we have more" people to run education in Ontario, what she means is, we have a lot more of the taxpayers' money to spend on our social engineering projects. Man, that recession's been tough on everybody.
Once again, it needs to be said: not one person in the Ontario Human Rights Commission is an elected official. Their Ontario Human Rights Code is written by them and enforced by them. They are not trained educators, law enforcement officials, or even politicians. They're just people that have a permanent job of deciding that what you're doing just won't do.
Canada's a funny place. We rail against oppression everywhere, pay lip service to freedom, but when an unelected bureaucrat declares that she's keeping an eye on cities and plans to educate your children properly, it's a big yawn. If your neighbour told you that your kid isn't being educated properly and needs retooling, you'd freak. When a bureaucrat you've never met says the same thing, you shrug.
Funny. Delicious.
Toronto Sun: "I think that the Conservatives are bringing kind of a small view to what we're doing here," McGuinty said. "We are participating in a remarkable adventure largely without precedent in the annals of human history. We're inviting people to come here from the four corners of the world.
"It's only natural and predictable that in those circumstances from time to time there will be a little bit of friction ... we need a place in a civilized society to address those kinds of concerns," he said.
"Inviting people to come here from the four corners of the world." Yeah, that's never been done before. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free in Wawa, Ontario. Who knew?
His remarks are in defense of the Ontario Human Rights Commission, an organization whose goal is not about human rights but about telling you how you should live your life.
It should be scary when a politician defends a social program by declaring it's a great adventure that's never been done before. Picture the conversation:
"You sure about this?"
"No idea. But it's going to be great!"
"How do you know?"
"Don't. But it's great!"
"But..."
"Stop asking so many questions. You're ruining the adventure."
"Great."
Adventure and Government. Those words go together about as well as apple sauce and cow dung.
The Ontario human rights racket is run by Barbara Hall. Here she is in the same Sun piece:
The commission is also working on forcing transit systems in Thunder Bay, Sudbury and Hamilton to call out all stops for visually impaired passengers and is keeping a close eye on Oshawa and other municipalities who have tried to restrict the growth of student housing through zoning by-laws.
The public education role will also be beefed up, she said.
"In the past we had one staff person for the whole of Ontario that did public education," Hall said. "Now we will have more and we'll have the capacity to work with communities on the education that is the best for them."
Keeping a close eye on...beefed up...best for them...
Sounds pretty innocent to me. Oh, and by the way, when she says "now we have more" people to run education in Ontario, what she means is, we have a lot more of the taxpayers' money to spend on our social engineering projects. Man, that recession's been tough on everybody.
Once again, it needs to be said: not one person in the Ontario Human Rights Commission is an elected official. Their Ontario Human Rights Code is written by them and enforced by them. They are not trained educators, law enforcement officials, or even politicians. They're just people that have a permanent job of deciding that what you're doing just won't do.
Canada's a funny place. We rail against oppression everywhere, pay lip service to freedom, but when an unelected bureaucrat declares that she's keeping an eye on cities and plans to educate your children properly, it's a big yawn. If your neighbour told you that your kid isn't being educated properly and needs retooling, you'd freak. When a bureaucrat you've never met says the same thing, you shrug.
Funny. Delicious.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
SBQD At Your Service
Remember that gaffe Obama made a while back about the Post Office vs. UPS and FedEx? It was a blooper that everyone promptly buried, especially the man himself.
Not Jesse Jackson, Jr, though. He thought it sounded great and now goes after it whole hog:
"Look at it this way, Larry. There's Federal Express, there's UPS, and there's DHL. The public option is a stamp. It's email. And because of the email system, and because of the post office, it keeps DHL from charging $100 for an overnight letter. Or UPS from charging $100 for an overnight letter, because of the public option. Some of us don't have a problem buying a stamp, rather than going that route."
These guys are either crazies or drunk.
1) UPS and FedEx can't compete with the post office in letter delivery by law, so the comparison is useless unless you're trying to make the exact opposite point that Jackson is. 2) Since when was the internet a "public option email system" in answer to the outrageous corporate monsters at DHL and UPS? 3) It's pretty frightening, but the poor guy seems to think - I'm taking him at his word; sue me - that if the post office folded tomorrow, FedEx, DHL, and UPS would all charge $100 for letter delivery.
Nevermind that anyone with enough cash for a fleet of Cessnas and a few bicycles would wipe out FedEx by doing it for a buck. And then DHL would charge 98 cents. And then UPS would charge 94 cents. And then Sean Berry's Quickie Delivery would charge 75 cents. We'd trade prices until one of us goofed, charged too little, couldn't get out from under, and went bust. The other guys would find the market value - ie, what people are willing to pay before telling you to stick it - and settle into making decent profits while offering the odd special and concentrating on customer service and faster delivery time to draw customers away from the competition. Until yet another guy came along with a more efficient way of doing it and charged less, forcing the competition to either meet that price or start calling themselves "high end" and chasing the mail snobs.
See, that's how the market (I know, I know - it's a scary place, don't get caught there after sundown) operates. Unless it's providing them with boffo campaign donations, clowns like Jesse Jackson Jr don't have a clue. Or they're lying. Take your pick on which is worse.
The only place geniuses like this will run health care is straight into the ground.
Not Jesse Jackson, Jr, though. He thought it sounded great and now goes after it whole hog:
"Look at it this way, Larry. There's Federal Express, there's UPS, and there's DHL. The public option is a stamp. It's email. And because of the email system, and because of the post office, it keeps DHL from charging $100 for an overnight letter. Or UPS from charging $100 for an overnight letter, because of the public option. Some of us don't have a problem buying a stamp, rather than going that route."
These guys are either crazies or drunk.
1) UPS and FedEx can't compete with the post office in letter delivery by law, so the comparison is useless unless you're trying to make the exact opposite point that Jackson is. 2) Since when was the internet a "public option email system" in answer to the outrageous corporate monsters at DHL and UPS? 3) It's pretty frightening, but the poor guy seems to think - I'm taking him at his word; sue me - that if the post office folded tomorrow, FedEx, DHL, and UPS would all charge $100 for letter delivery.
Nevermind that anyone with enough cash for a fleet of Cessnas and a few bicycles would wipe out FedEx by doing it for a buck. And then DHL would charge 98 cents. And then UPS would charge 94 cents. And then Sean Berry's Quickie Delivery would charge 75 cents. We'd trade prices until one of us goofed, charged too little, couldn't get out from under, and went bust. The other guys would find the market value - ie, what people are willing to pay before telling you to stick it - and settle into making decent profits while offering the odd special and concentrating on customer service and faster delivery time to draw customers away from the competition. Until yet another guy came along with a more efficient way of doing it and charged less, forcing the competition to either meet that price or start calling themselves "high end" and chasing the mail snobs.
See, that's how the market (I know, I know - it's a scary place, don't get caught there after sundown) operates. Unless it's providing them with boffo campaign donations, clowns like Jesse Jackson Jr don't have a clue. Or they're lying. Take your pick on which is worse.
The only place geniuses like this will run health care is straight into the ground.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
CSI Won't Be The Same
Once in a while I catch one of those Bill Curtis shows on TV. He's the guy that does American Justice and Cold Case Files. In virtually every one of the Cold Case stories, the crook is done in by his DNA: a cop will go through a 20-year-old file, find a stained pair of underwear, send them to the lab, and bingo, a match is discovered and the quiet weird guy at the end of the street is put away for life.
Whenever I see the show, I always think, "Man, if it wasn't for DNA they'd never get any of these guys." That's because the DNA is all the cops and prosucution have, and it's virtually all they need. There's a one in a zillion chance that the DNA belongs to somebody else, so if it's your spit on the beer bottle then you're done like dinner.
But what if that wasn't the case? What if you needed more than just DNA to pin somebody down?
From the NYT:
“You can just engineer a crime scene,” said Dan Frumkin, lead author of the paper, which has been published online by the journal Forensic Science International: Genetics. “Any biology undergraduate could perform this.”
Dr. Frumkin is a founder of Nucleix, a company based in Tel Aviv that has developed a test to distinguish real DNA samples from fake ones that it hopes to sell to forensics laboratories.
The planting of fabricated DNA evidence at a crime scene is only one implication of the findings. A potential invasion of personal privacy is another.
Next question: who says it hasn't been done a hundred times already?
Whenever I see the show, I always think, "Man, if it wasn't for DNA they'd never get any of these guys." That's because the DNA is all the cops and prosucution have, and it's virtually all they need. There's a one in a zillion chance that the DNA belongs to somebody else, so if it's your spit on the beer bottle then you're done like dinner.
But what if that wasn't the case? What if you needed more than just DNA to pin somebody down?
From the NYT:
“You can just engineer a crime scene,” said Dan Frumkin, lead author of the paper, which has been published online by the journal Forensic Science International: Genetics. “Any biology undergraduate could perform this.”
Dr. Frumkin is a founder of Nucleix, a company based in Tel Aviv that has developed a test to distinguish real DNA samples from fake ones that it hopes to sell to forensics laboratories.
The planting of fabricated DNA evidence at a crime scene is only one implication of the findings. A potential invasion of personal privacy is another.
Next question: who says it hasn't been done a hundred times already?
Friday, August 14, 2009
I Dub Thee, Therefore Thou Art
Vis-a-vis the Obama/Joker poster, an LA Weekly guy has this to say:
To be honest, though, I do believe the poster appeals to people who see in it a validation of their own racial prejudices, even if they can't acknowledge them. That my short post hit such a deep, raw nerve clearly shows that race was very much part of the illustration's attraction.
Got it. If one were to draw a Telly Tubby, and I were to call that person a child molestor, his angry reaction to my charge would prove beyond all doubt that he is a child molestor.
Reading minds is just so easy.
To be honest, though, I do believe the poster appeals to people who see in it a validation of their own racial prejudices, even if they can't acknowledge them. That my short post hit such a deep, raw nerve clearly shows that race was very much part of the illustration's attraction.
Got it. If one were to draw a Telly Tubby, and I were to call that person a child molestor, his angry reaction to my charge would prove beyond all doubt that he is a child molestor.
Reading minds is just so easy.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
The National Felony League Makes It Official
Hang, shoot, electrocute and drown dogs, lie to your bosses, lie to the Feds, lie to everyone in sight, go to jail, come out during a recession and...welcome to your 2-year contract worth $5.2 million, baby.The NFL has now confirmed its garage league status beyond all doubt.
Photo: AP
Nothing is Free
I saw this in a Newsweek piece, describing what a great life it is to grow up in France:
His [a French person's] education, from grade school through university, will be essentially free.
Er, define "essentially" and then define "free."
I love France. Loved it when I stayed there, loved it when I was just visiting. But "essentially free" is a lie. If education in France is truly free, then I have to assume that university professors do not get paid, buildings are erected by construction workers that never eat, and books are printed on thin air.
Maxim: whatever and wherever it is, somebody has to pay for it.
His [a French person's] education, from grade school through university, will be essentially free.
Er, define "essentially" and then define "free."
I love France. Loved it when I stayed there, loved it when I was just visiting. But "essentially free" is a lie. If education in France is truly free, then I have to assume that university professors do not get paid, buildings are erected by construction workers that never eat, and books are printed on thin air.
Maxim: whatever and wherever it is, somebody has to pay for it.
Quite an Opening Sentence
Why blogs can be tiresome:
It could be a rallying cry for the millions of Glenn Beck and Hannity viewers, FreeRepublic readers, and other subnormal so-called citizens who, by dint of their sponge-like soaking up of right-wing propaganda, their latent paranoia and racism, and their predisposal towards being easily led, have found themselves waving little placards and screaming at dozens of health care reform meetings across the country.
It could be a rallying cry for the millions of Glenn Beck and Hannity viewers, FreeRepublic readers, and other subnormal so-called citizens who, by dint of their sponge-like soaking up of right-wing propaganda, their latent paranoia and racism, and their predisposal towards being easily led, have found themselves waving little placards and screaming at dozens of health care reform meetings across the country.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Sell That Isn't Selling (Updated)
My lefty friends get upset when I poke fun at Obama, so in this instance I will say that feel sorry for him.
That isn't backhanded pity, either. This clip sums up what I was saying yesterday:
The man is not used to being told, "No." Now that there are people raising Cain over his health care plans, he has to go out and explain why it's a good thing for his countrymen. And he can't do it. I honestly think that he started this mess by merely thinking, "Everyone should have health care." It sounded like a neat idea, nothing to it. Now he seems shocked to discover that he simply can't sign on the line and make it so. (By the way, don't forget this key point: his party owns both houses of Congress and have enough votes to pass any bill he wants. Republicans and angry town hallers aren't holding back his health care plans; his own party is. That's a pretty big deal for a president who was the major league darling of his party only 6 months ago).
He's not confident anymore. He stammers. He hesitates. But more than that, he chooses extremely poor words: "I think private insurers should be able to compete. They do it all the time. I mean. If you think about it, UPS and FedEx are doing just fine. It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems.”
Good grief. You do not, as a rule, pick a failing government institution as an example of why a new government institution should be set up. He's treading water and sinking.
Using the Post Office is a lousy choice. 1) UPS and FedEx aren't allowed to compete with non-overnight delivery of letters. By government order, they have to stay in the parcel and overnight game. Which leads to the question: if FedEx and UPS compete with the Post Office - as Mr. Obama says private insurers will compete with government health care - and are already tops, then just imagine how much UPS and FedEx would kick the post office's butt if they played on an equal footing. 2) "I think private insurers should be able to compete. They do it all the time." Okay. Sounds like things are pretty good. Then why is government opening up its own health care shop?
He can't answer those points because he didn't think the example through. During the off-the-cuff moment, he hesitated and floundered until plucking "Post Office" from thin air. Then he booted it.
This is not the Barack Obama that was advertised last year. I'm still waiting for the great orator to arrive. It's a long wait.
Update: The hits keep coming. The dude can't be endearing himself to doctors with this stuff.
That isn't backhanded pity, either. This clip sums up what I was saying yesterday:
The man is not used to being told, "No." Now that there are people raising Cain over his health care plans, he has to go out and explain why it's a good thing for his countrymen. And he can't do it. I honestly think that he started this mess by merely thinking, "Everyone should have health care." It sounded like a neat idea, nothing to it. Now he seems shocked to discover that he simply can't sign on the line and make it so. (By the way, don't forget this key point: his party owns both houses of Congress and have enough votes to pass any bill he wants. Republicans and angry town hallers aren't holding back his health care plans; his own party is. That's a pretty big deal for a president who was the major league darling of his party only 6 months ago).
He's not confident anymore. He stammers. He hesitates. But more than that, he chooses extremely poor words: "I think private insurers should be able to compete. They do it all the time. I mean. If you think about it, UPS and FedEx are doing just fine. It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems.”
Good grief. You do not, as a rule, pick a failing government institution as an example of why a new government institution should be set up. He's treading water and sinking.
Using the Post Office is a lousy choice. 1) UPS and FedEx aren't allowed to compete with non-overnight delivery of letters. By government order, they have to stay in the parcel and overnight game. Which leads to the question: if FedEx and UPS compete with the Post Office - as Mr. Obama says private insurers will compete with government health care - and are already tops, then just imagine how much UPS and FedEx would kick the post office's butt if they played on an equal footing. 2) "I think private insurers should be able to compete. They do it all the time." Okay. Sounds like things are pretty good. Then why is government opening up its own health care shop?
He can't answer those points because he didn't think the example through. During the off-the-cuff moment, he hesitated and floundered until plucking "Post Office" from thin air. Then he booted it.
This is not the Barack Obama that was advertised last year. I'm still waiting for the great orator to arrive. It's a long wait.
Update: The hits keep coming. The dude can't be endearing himself to doctors with this stuff.
Monday, August 10, 2009
The Bus Arrives - Rios
I was listening to JP Ricciardi, general manager of the Blue Jays, a few days ago. He had just put Alex Rios on waivers and was telling a reporter, "It happens all the time. We're just testing the waters."Sure. And have I got some stock to sell you.
Rios is gone because of his own underperformance, but more importantly the underperformance of the whole team. The Jays spent big bucks on Rios and Vernon Wells. Result? Another .500 season. Somebody had to be jettisoned in order to make some financial space for next year. Scott Rolen went last week, and then it was Rios' turn. Enter the White Sox, who scooped Rios up this evening.
Friday, August 07, 2009
The Genius Family
Reuters: A YouTube video showing a 7-year-old boy at the wheel of a sport utility vehicle -- with his family cheering him on -- has prompted an investigation by Quebec police and family services, police said on Tuesday.
The video, apparently shot by the boy's father from the SUV's passenger seat as the boy drives and his mom and siblings watch from the back seat, was brought to the attention of Quebec Provincial Police on Monday, Sergeant Chantal Mackels said.
"We now know who the person is," Mackels said, noting charges are still being worked out.
Finding the family wasn't much of a challenge, given the father's enthusiastic narration of the video, including their location in Quebec and the boy's first name.
The video, apparently shot by the boy's father from the SUV's passenger seat as the boy drives and his mom and siblings watch from the back seat, was brought to the attention of Quebec Provincial Police on Monday, Sergeant Chantal Mackels said.
"We now know who the person is," Mackels said, noting charges are still being worked out.
Finding the family wasn't much of a challenge, given the father's enthusiastic narration of the video, including their location in Quebec and the boy's first name.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Mister Regulator
I was telling someone the other day about this little girl who runs a lemonade stand just down the street. She's there every now and then. While she sells lemonade, another little girl, perhaps her sister, draws art on the sidewalk with sticks of chalk.
I've bought lemonade from her stand for two reasons. 1) Lemonade's pretty good. 2) You should always support a budding capitalist. My only complaint is that her serving cups are damn small and the last time I bought lemonade there, I felt jipped.
In any event, she seems to enjoy the venture, and so should we. It teaches her the value of a buck and how the world works. While everyone else is running around worrying about the economy and begging for government handouts, this little girl shrugs and starts earning some cash. Pretty cool. Right?
Out in California, another little girl is learning how the world works, too. Running a small business? Get ready for Mister Regulator:
Eight-year-old Daniela Earnest has made lemonade out of lemons in more ways than one this week.
Hoping to raise money for a family trip to Disneyland, the Tulare girl opened a lemonade stand Monday. But because Daniela didn't have a business license, the city of Tulare shut it down the same day.
A radio station caught wind of it and gave her some tickets to Disneyland. Under that PR pressure, it looks like the city is going to cave and let the little girl have her lemonade stand.
The reason I dislike Mister Regulator is because his mission in life is to make sure you don't make a buck. He makes his living by trying to stop you from doing same. In this case, Mister Regulator was "Richard Garcia, a Tulare code enforcement officer, [who] happened to be at the same intersection to remove illegal signs left behind by someone selling tetherball poles."
I get that. Signs hanging all over the place are ugly. But think about his job: constantly looking for ways to cheat someone out of making a living. It must be a glorious little place, the mind of Mister Regulator: "I am important. I am the boss. Scourge of lemonade stands and tetherball enthusiasts."
Imagine the officious moron you would have to be to see a little girl selling lemonade, then bust her for not having a business license. It's almost inconceivable that someone could be that stupid.
Almost, but not quite, because these clowns are everywhere.
I've bought lemonade from her stand for two reasons. 1) Lemonade's pretty good. 2) You should always support a budding capitalist. My only complaint is that her serving cups are damn small and the last time I bought lemonade there, I felt jipped.
In any event, she seems to enjoy the venture, and so should we. It teaches her the value of a buck and how the world works. While everyone else is running around worrying about the economy and begging for government handouts, this little girl shrugs and starts earning some cash. Pretty cool. Right?
Out in California, another little girl is learning how the world works, too. Running a small business? Get ready for Mister Regulator:
Eight-year-old Daniela Earnest has made lemonade out of lemons in more ways than one this week.
Hoping to raise money for a family trip to Disneyland, the Tulare girl opened a lemonade stand Monday. But because Daniela didn't have a business license, the city of Tulare shut it down the same day.
A radio station caught wind of it and gave her some tickets to Disneyland. Under that PR pressure, it looks like the city is going to cave and let the little girl have her lemonade stand.
The reason I dislike Mister Regulator is because his mission in life is to make sure you don't make a buck. He makes his living by trying to stop you from doing same. In this case, Mister Regulator was "Richard Garcia, a Tulare code enforcement officer, [who] happened to be at the same intersection to remove illegal signs left behind by someone selling tetherball poles."
I get that. Signs hanging all over the place are ugly. But think about his job: constantly looking for ways to cheat someone out of making a living. It must be a glorious little place, the mind of Mister Regulator: "I am important. I am the boss. Scourge of lemonade stands and tetherball enthusiasts."
Imagine the officious moron you would have to be to see a little girl selling lemonade, then bust her for not having a business license. It's almost inconceivable that someone could be that stupid.
Almost, but not quite, because these clowns are everywhere.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Stoolies Wanted
Come on, this can't be for real:
There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.
Yup. That's the White House website asking for snitches. Next question: what exactly is the White House planning to do once a stoolie drops the dime on some blogger, emailer, or otherwise general pain in the ass?
When the Obama campaign trumpeted the word "audacity," they weren't kidding around. It's pretty audacious for the executive branch to openly declare that the Salem witch trials and McCarthyism aren't dark chapters in US history; they're something to emulate. They must be crazy to think they'll get away with it.
Then again...
There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.
Yup. That's the White House website asking for snitches. Next question: what exactly is the White House planning to do once a stoolie drops the dime on some blogger, emailer, or otherwise general pain in the ass?
When the Obama campaign trumpeted the word "audacity," they weren't kidding around. It's pretty audacious for the executive branch to openly declare that the Salem witch trials and McCarthyism aren't dark chapters in US history; they're something to emulate. They must be crazy to think they'll get away with it.
Then again...
Monday, August 03, 2009
Why So Serious?
I caught this bit via Drudge. Some guy in LA has been hanging this charicature of Obama about town.Sound the alarm!
KTLA: Los Angeles Urban Policy Roundtable President Earl Ofari Hutchinson is calling the depiction, politically mean spirited and dangerous.
Hutchinson is challenging the group or individual that put up the poster to have the courage and decency to publicly identify themselves.
"Depicting the president as demonic and a socialist goes beyond political spoofery," says Hutchinson, "it is mean-spirited and dangerous."
"We have issued a public challenge to the person or group that put up the poster to come forth and publicly tell why they have used this offensive depiction to ridicule President Obama."
Oh, chill out. Some dude hung a bunch of posters and it went viral. Big deal. A public challenge? I'm sure the guy's having a private laugh. Who knew hanging posters on a street corner could put the national media in such a twist?
I've read a few pieces where people are trying to figure out what the posters mean. If I had to guess, I'd say the guy's calling Obama a "joker" or a "clown" or a "phony" or a "socialist." A stretch, I know.
A trivial story on an otherwise slow news day. Besides, you can't have it both ways. There wasn't a peep of outrage over the hundreds of different "Bush/Hitler" posters and bumper stickers over the years. You can't start crying now that someone's going after your guy - well, you can, but nobody should care.
Free speech. Ain't it a bitch?
Sunday, August 02, 2009
The Hurt Locker - Review
Director: Kathryn BigelowStarring: Jeremy Renner/Anthony Mackie
Written by: Mark Boal
Runtime: 2 hours 10 minutes
War movies these days aren't really war movies. They're more psych-drama mixed with one or two battle scenes. They're often heavy handed on a message (war is terrible, war is evil, war kills and makes friends cry), and they're usually pretty boring.
The Hurt Locker has a touch of all this, but it works because the movie isn't about battles. It's about a bomb squad, the guys who defuse Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs) that are left at the side of the road by terrorists and insurgents. That allows a lot of room for silence, but not of the good kind. It's a silence that's waiting to blow you to smithereens.
Jeremy Renner is excellent as Staff Sergeant James, team leader of a bomb squad. He's the guy that dons the suit and walks in while everyone is else is running out. His character is interesting and fun, which is a switch from the usual morose heroes in today's war pics. He's fearless, a little crazy, and basically what a hero should be: a guy that makes us think, "That's who I'd be."
There's some very good scenes in this movie and none of them have loud noises. A duel between two snipers is especially well done. The tedium of it. The heat. The boredom. The waiting. And bang.
The movie only goes off the rails three-quarters through when it sidetracks into a subplot involving a young Iraqi boy who has gone missing. It rings false because the movie has taken too long before deciding to "care about the kids," and the conclusion of the subplot is pretty unsatisfying.
This movie has the usual crying jags and temper tantrums. It's old. War is awful and of course I can't say what I would do. Maybe I'd lose my marbles. But from a film/writing point of view, war movies are tedious and paint-by-numbers: insert dead friend here, estranged wife there, temper tantrum this way, crying crack up that way, and wrap it up with a character saying, "What's it all for, anyway?" There hasn't been a new way of telling a war story in a long time. This movie comes close, but can't help itself and eventually caves.
Still, it's well done and it's worth seeing.
Photo: Rotten Tomatoes
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Gotta Love It
This guy's a trip.
Here's the gist: "A report just came out yesterday. Said things were even worse than we thought back when we knew what we thought. Get it? So even though the stimulus package sucks, it's actually doing well. Not because it's doing well - but because things were more sucky than we thought. And no, the stimulus wasn't supposed to 'stimulate.' It was just supposed to 'put the brakes' on the recession, which, as I said, was really hard to do because the recession was even more sucky than we thought. So. Not my fault. Everything's cool. It's not that the stimulus isn't working, it's that the recession was worse than I told you it was. Cheer up, sport."
And that's all in the first thirty seconds. Revisionist history is such a gas. Maxim: lower the bar enough and you can make even cow dung look like Everest.
I swear I've just watched the :25 to :31 part of this clip half-a-dozen times. It's the funniest thing I've seen in ages. I have to hand it to him. The chutzpah it takes to say that line with a straight face is unreal. I also love the usual "Since I took office" stuff, as if he's Zeus just down from Olympus, and not a Senator who could have opened his mouth about the dangerous brink ahead any old time he felt like it.
Love. This. Guy.
Here's the gist: "A report just came out yesterday. Said things were even worse than we thought back when we knew what we thought. Get it? So even though the stimulus package sucks, it's actually doing well. Not because it's doing well - but because things were more sucky than we thought. And no, the stimulus wasn't supposed to 'stimulate.' It was just supposed to 'put the brakes' on the recession, which, as I said, was really hard to do because the recession was even more sucky than we thought. So. Not my fault. Everything's cool. It's not that the stimulus isn't working, it's that the recession was worse than I told you it was. Cheer up, sport."
And that's all in the first thirty seconds. Revisionist history is such a gas. Maxim: lower the bar enough and you can make even cow dung look like Everest.
I swear I've just watched the :25 to :31 part of this clip half-a-dozen times. It's the funniest thing I've seen in ages. I have to hand it to him. The chutzpah it takes to say that line with a straight face is unreal. I also love the usual "Since I took office" stuff, as if he's Zeus just down from Olympus, and not a Senator who could have opened his mouth about the dangerous brink ahead any old time he felt like it.
Love. This. Guy.
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