March of the Morons

Here's a nice shot of a balmy Toronto November, as seen in the Toronto Sun.

I love winter. Not because I freeze my ass, but because I get to watch other asses freeze.

Asses of the mental variety, that is. I'm not so lude as to suggest that I watch physical asses freeze, though it can be tough to avoid when you're standing in line at a Toronto nightclub around 11pm.

Anyway, here's a list of this week's asses. As winter settles in, the enviro-boobs (er, asses) ramp up their rhetoric and pump out enough hot air to distract you from the fact that you're scraping ice off your windshield and paying too much on your heating bill.

The founders of the Green Hanukkah Campaign. These are the losers that are asking for Jews to light one less candle for the occasion. Says co-founder Liad Ortar, "The campaign calls for Jews around the world to save the last candle and save the planet, so we won't need another miracle." No candles for Mr. Ortar. The only miracle is if the romantic Liad will ever get laid in this lifetime.

Brian Williams. He's the anchor of NBC News, so it should come as no shock that he is a fool. All network anchors are. Beat reporters are the ones that do the work. "Veteran anchors" are merely the failed actors that take stuff off the wire and read it. In any case, Williams decided to announce his stupidity this way:

My nominee for 2007 Person of the Year is a woman--a woman with a history of abuse, a woman who has never run for elective office, someone we all know, someone who makes her presence known on a daily basis in all our lives and, for my money, is better than any male alternative. That woman is Mother Earth. I think the environment is the compelling issue of our time.

Yes, he really said that. And yes, this is the man that reads you his interpretation of the important news stories on a nightly basis.

Here's another bit from the man that makes Ron Burgundy look like a genius:

"Last Christmas, my wife and I told [my father] to pick a spot on the planet, and for his present, we'd send him there. We were concerned that he was going to choose the Grover Cleveland rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike for a sandwich from a vending machine. But God love him, he's seen the light, and I think Gordon Williams is going to China this fall." -- Esquire

China? Really? But Brian, you pompous, shameless abuser, do you know what kind of a carbon footprint that's going to leave on the face of dear Mother Earth?

Shari T. Wilson. She's the Environmental Secretary for Maryland. She heads a 22-member group that is releasing a report that says the following: "As a coastal state with extensive low-lying land on the Eastern Shore and around the Chesapeake Bay, Maryland is exceeded only by Louisiana, Florida and Delaware in the percentage of its land vulnerable to accelerated sea level rise."

Poor Shari isn't the only enviro-boob in government. A US Senate committee is scheduled to meet on Wednesday to decide on a global warming bill. I hope they bundle up: the forecast for Wednesday in Washington DC is flurries with a low of 31 degrees (-1C for the Canucks). Could be worse. According to my Worrisome Warming Watch, the current temperature in Embarrass, Minnesota is 14F/-10C.

It's a busy fall for the Eco Nuts. I can't wait to see what they come up with on December 22nd. That's when the winter season actually begins.

Photos: Tracy McLaughlin/Toronto Sun
Glenn Harris/Photorazzi