Joe Biden Ungirds His Loins

"With all due respect, that isn't remotely close to what he said..."

That's why I like Tapper, though I don't know how much I'd like him if he was asking questions of me.

I love Gibbs' reponse here: Ignore what Biden said. I'm telling you what he was supposed to say.



The backstory on this is that Joe "Gird Your Loins" Biden went on TV and said that he told his family not to take the subway in case they catch swine flu. So much for that steel cup he's been sporting. Chicken.

He also said schools should be shuttered and added, "If you're out in the middle of a field and someone sneezes that's one thing. If you're in a closed aircraft or a closed container or closed car or closed classroom it's a different thing."

Well. The Veep decided to go it alone and has now frightened parents of schoolchildren, made the subway a deathtrap, put the kibosh on the airline industry, and left everyone wondering which "containers" they should avoid at all costs. Partying with friends in a Tupperware bowl? Beware!

I remember a while ago when people were complaining that there weren't enough flu shots to go around. Bush said that if you were healthy and strong, don't get a shot. Leave it for the kids and the elderly. He added that he hadn't received a shot and wasn't going to.

Now you've got Biden hiding in the middle of a field dodging sneeze particles.

This guy's a laugh a minute.

You're In Good Hands

Last night, Obama made a big deal out of his decision to put VP Joe Biden in charge of the stimulus spending. He said he was doing it because, "You don't mess with Joe."

Congress had a good old laugh over that, and I thought the entire room had suddenly gone insane. Placing Joe Biden in charge of $787 billion should be an impeachable offence.

The other day, Obama described the decision like this: "The fact that I'm asking my vice president to personally lead this effort shows how important it is for our country and future to get this right."

Obama's lost his mind.

Here's Biden talking this morning to a CBS news anchor. When she asks him what the website address of the recovery plan is (Obama made a point of it during his speech, and even I remember it: recovery.gov - you know, as in "Recovery Plan," get it?), Man In Charge of Stimulus Joe says, "You know, I'm embarrassed. [To staffer] Do you know the website number? [To host] I should have it in front of me, but I don't..."

The anchor tries to save him, saying she'll call his office later to find out. Joe stumbles on for a couple of seconds until finally coming up with what he calls the website number. When she asks him if it's up and running, he says, "It's up and running."

How the hell would he know?

Joe. Put Down The Crack Pipe.

Joe Biden at a campaign rally in Missouri today:

"You know why I think Jill likes Claire McCaskill so well, Senator McCaskill? Jill is one of five sisters, Claire is one of three sisters. And I tell you what, you women raised with sisters are different than women raised with brothers," Biden said as both women joined him on stage.

"My sister is smart, runs every one of my campaigns; is beautiful; graduated with honors from college; is homecoming queen. But she's a ... she is what I call a 'girl-boy' growing up, you know what I mean?"

"And I tell you what? Girl-girls are tougher than girl-boys," he said. "But there's one important thing I noticed.The great thing about marrying into a family with five sisters, there's always one that loves you. 'Cause you can count on splitting them a bit. You know what I mean?

"I shouldn't be going off like this, but -- hey, folks, 37 more hours, 37 more hours," he then said.

Spin Your Veep Round and Round

"Part of what being a leader does to instill confidence is to demonstrate what he or she knows what they are talking about and communicating to people ... this is how we can fix this. When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed. He said, 'look, here's what happened.'"

That's Joe Biden, in a CBS interview with Katie Couric.

Problem 1: When the stock market crashed in 1929, FDR wasn't the President. Herbert Hoover was. Problem 2: in 1929, nobody was watching television. The only people that owned a TV had dibs on experimental sets that emitted a weird, orange glow the size of a credit card.

So much for instilling confidence by appearing to know what you're talking about.

Grant, in a rare DVD release, 1946

You probably didn't hear much about this latest of Biden's gaffes. It's not newsworthy because he's only running as a VP. As Slate tells it, Biden is a "harmless gaffe machine." As the LA Times notes, Biden merely "misspoke" about FDR and the history of the television set.

Misspoke. Harmless. Uh-huh.

Now let me ask you, my darling friends and readers, if Sarah Palin had misspoken in the same way, what do you think the reaction would have been to that harmless gaffe? We saw how she was raked over the coals for the Bush Doctrine. But flubbing FDR, the Great Depression, and TV?

It would have been a bloodbath, and you know it.

I am loving the Palin VP candidacy. Loving it.