Random Musings

A few random musings from a lazy Friday:

Favorite movie lines are funny. They pop in and out of your head at a moment’s notice, and then they’re gone. Here’s a few of mine that have climbed out of the subconscious recently. Apologies if they’re not exact. This is from memory.

“I guess you don’t listen so good, do you, asshole?”
-- Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry. Said while sticking his .44 in a mugger’s face.

“They were gonna make me a major for this. And I wasn’t even in their fucking army anymore.”
-- Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now, right before he does in Kurtz.

“It wasn’t exactly a well thought out plan.”
-- Ben Stiller in There’s Something About Mary, after his zips up his fly over his testicles.

“Whoa. Check out the cans on that bimbo.”
-- Adrian Zmed (remember him?) in Bachelor Party. Said immediately after he talks about the fact that he’s going to appreciate women from now on.

“I’m German-Irish.”
-- Robert Duvall in The Godfather. Said after a movie executive accuses Duvall of being a "Guinea."

“He’s in the suspicion business.”
-- Robert Redford in Three Days of the Condor, regarding a CIA agent.

“Well, he should have armed himself.”
-- Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven. Said after the sheriff accuses Eastwood of shooting an unarmed man.

Random Musing on a Karaoke Bar:

I was in a karaoke bar last night. It’s actually an Irish pub, one of those places that has the symbol “&”in the middle of its name. It’s a dive of a joint, and I guess they throw karaoke parties to try and bring in the crowds. It doesn’t work, but at least they’re making an effort.

The crowd of regulars was about twenty deep. Most of them were old guys that would drink there every night whether there’s karaoke or not. The rest were a mixture of misfits, from the dude with the red mohawk, to the big girls wearing their clothes too tight.

One guy sitting at the bar was obviously slow. Mentally touched. He wore his baseball cap square on his head, the bill just as straight as the day he bought it. It was a green cap with the name of some gas station or other. He’ll probably wear that hat until it dissolves and he’s forced to get a new one. He looked about twenty-two and is probably thirty.

I watched him for a while, and I was happy for him. The down and out Irish pub is obviously his second home. I’ll bet he goes every night. Everyone knows his name, and he gets treated with respect. He probably never got any in elementary school or high school, and he probably doesn’t get much at his job. But in the Irish pub, he does.

I’m glad there’s places like that for guys like him. Sometimes, life is good to people. It all depends on your point of view: I couldn’t wait to get out of the joint, and he can’t wait to get in it. A dive to some is ritzy to others.

Random Musing on Shaving:

Why do some guys get away with the Brad Pitt look while other do not? Namely, me. A buddy of mine has a brother that looks like a movie star if he puts the razor away for a couple of days. In fact, he looks better if he forgets to shave.

Not me. If I don’t shave, I either look lazy or like a hobo, or like a lazy hobo.

No matter how good you look, though, there is one truth to a three-day beard: women all hate whisker rash.

Random Musing on Old Stuff:

I miss old words and old names. It’s been ages since I met a guy named Lou. Same with George, Zeke, Ted, Al, Ron, Bill, Gus, Hank, Bart, Max, Bruce, Sam, Ralph, or Joe. Where did they all go? Even at the service stations the guys are wearing two syllable names. Wasn’t it a rule that you had to have a one syllable name to work on a guy’s car?

I miss the old words, too. Stuff you never hear anymore. Like ‘tomfoolery.’ That is a great word, and it’s a shame to think it’s gone. Just once I want to hear an old guy come out of his house and yell at some kid, “Knock off that tomfoolery!”

Where’d ‘nincompoop’ go? Or ‘buffoon’?

I miss them.

Random Musing on Hot Women with Tattoos:

If a woman is pretty, did their parents know they would be pretty? And if so, is that why they are all branded with a tattoo at the small of their back?

It seems like every woman in a tight shirt and low jeans was born with one of those Asian symbols just above their butt crack. I ponder what the symbols mean. I’d ask, but I know the ladies haven’t the foggiest. They got it because they thought it looked cool. Then the ladies give you dirty looks for staring at their butts, when all you’re trying to do is figure out what their butt is trying to say.

I wonder sometimes if they’re getting busy with an Asian guy, does the man ever think, “Why does this woman have ‘I’m With Stupid’ written above her butt in Mandarin?”