"I have to make this clear: he and I never had a romance."
That's Barbara Walters, talking about Fidel Castro. She goes on to say that Castro's a very charismatic man, but reminds us that he is a dictator.
No kidding. Thanks, Barb. When he locked up AIDS patients and had his political adversaries shot, I thought old Fidel was just a nice guy having a bad day. Not that you ever pressed him on those topics.
I caught a bit of Barbara Walters' special tonight. Called Audition, it's a pitch for her new book by the same name.
Who says Barb doesn't run ABC? She's already got a couple of shows under her thumb, and now she tells the network to give her an interview to pitch her new book. Well, not give her an interview, but Charlie Gibson, the former breakfast guy who's now trying to be an evening news anchor. He got stuck with kissing Barb's wrinkled ass for a full hour. I'd feel sorry for him, but all those years of watching his sanctimonious puss say "Good Morning, America," makes me think he deserves a Barbara Walters interview for the rest of his life.
Gibson even asked Walters about her sex life, dating back decades. He'd say a man's name, and Barb would say what kind of lover he was, how romantic, how fun. How gross. After the third man's name was mentioned, I barely made it to the john in time. Images of Barbara Walters naked is a good way to shoo wildlife or scare children, but it does nothing for prime time television.
The roster of Barb's interviewees sounds impressive, but she's just another Larry King. Softball questions for everybody. What's your favorite color? If you were an animal, what would you be? She interviewed everyone under the sun because no one was ever afraid to be interviewed by her. A Barbara Walters special meant a chance to peddle your own propaganda, and Barb was happy to help you out.
Barb's little show tonight did prove that the media think they are bigger than any story they cover. Hate to break it to you Barb, but you didn't create anyone, no matter what Charlie Gibson's soundbite says. Sure, you created a few more talking heads, but they would have kissed someone else's butt to get there, anyway.
No, other people did the big deeds. You only got the follow-up.
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