Flying the Stupid Skies

CBS breaks down the heinous acts of Alec Balwin, actor and flight disruptor:

American Airlines took to its Facebook page Wednesday to explain its actions after Alec Baldwin complained he was kicked off a flight for playing a Scrabble-like game on his cell phone as the plane was about to depart from Los Angeles.

Without mentioning the "30 Rock" star by name, the airline said an "extremely vocal customer" declined to turn off his phone when asked to do so by a flight attendant.

The customer then stood up "with the seat belt light still on for departure" and took his phone into the plane's lavatory, the company continued.

"He slammed the lavatory door so hard, the cockpit crew heard it and became alarmed, even with the cockpit door closed and locked," the airline's post said.

And so on. They eventually kicked him off the flight.

The horrors. He "stood up with the seat belt sign still on." We all know what an incredibly dangerous thing that is. It's not quite as bad as having your tray table down, or having a jacket sitting on your lap, but it's pretty damn dangerous nonetheless. Still, it's better than smoking. Can you imagine if he had been smoking, or tampered with the lavatory's - that's airline language for 'disgusting closet to crap in' - smoke detector?

I love the story's "cockpit door closed and locked" bit, too, as if Baldwin was going to try and commandeer the plane. Whatever.

What sheep we are. Standing up, using cell phones, going to the john, playing word games, all so earth shattering. The guy was rude and loud, so you kicked him off the plane. I get it. But I don't blame him for getting hot. Most airline staff that I have met are vacuous, rude robots themselves. I've done enough flying to know that it's a soul destroying experience orchestrated by halfwits. And please: if cell phone use truly caused problems, planes would be falling out of the sky every single day by the dozens. Let a guy play Scrabble on his phone and we can get on with the flight.

George Carlin nailed it many years ago when it came to showing how arrogant and moronic the airline industry is. Time for another look, so we can laugh at them yet again:



Photo: Paul Morigi/WireImage