Call Girls - Bad Boys

If you can think of a worse name for a governor that's caught with a hooker, I'd love to hear it. Spitzer. Now, how many jokes can the late night comedy guys come up with for that? It practically writes itself.

People are ganging up on the disgraced NY governor for cheating on his wife, paying a call girl for sex, and for being a moral hypocrite. When he got into office, he took the high ground and came out swinging against against the Wall Street crooks. Now they're having a damn good laugh at his expense and there isn't a thing the guy can do about it.

I'm neither here nor there about what he did. He cheated, got busted, and he's going down. Happens all the time. I just wish he would have remembered the rest of us.

Men, that is.

I happened to be surfing the channels last night. First stop, The Moment of Truth. That's the show where total morons sit in a chair and get asked a series of questions about their personal lives. If they tell the truth, then they can win upwards of five hundred grand. If they lie, it's over. The catch: they have to go through a polygraph test before the show, and if their answers don't line up with the test results, they're done like dinner.

Last night's questions were about as suicidal as you can get:

Have you ever had sexual relations with you wife's sister?

Have you lost your sexual attraction for your wife?

Have you ever had sex with one of your friends' wives?

You get the idea. To the first two questions, the guy went through with flying colors. "No," and, "No." The wife looked suitably pleased. Then the last one: "Yes."

After the guy won a hundred grand, he quit the show and took the money, choosing not to humiliate himself any further by going for the big cash. There were no high fives with the family, no hugs all around. The look on the wife's face said she was already counting how much of that hundred grand was going to wind up in her bank account after the divorce.

After watching that relationship meltdown, I flicked on the evening news and watched Governor Spitzer resign from office. He was sorry this and sorry that. As the wives of cheating politicians do, his wife stared at the podium and looked like she hadn't slept in three days.

What I can't stand about these guys is that they put the men of the country through the ringer. If you watch these programs and news stories while sitting beside a woman, you are in for a very long night. Women always ask what you think of the story, and boy, your answer better be good.

"So, what do you think?" honey might ask.
"'Bout what?" you say, reaching quickly for the remote in order to take away ammunition.
"About him. Look at his wife. She looks awful. Men are scum."
"Sure are."
"Don't patronize me. Tell me what you think."
"Well, he really screwed up."
"Screwed up? How? By getting caught?"
"No, I mean he shouldn't have cheated."
""Screwed up?' Like, made a mistake? So it was a mistake that his prick fell in her hand, huh?"

Last Call
And off you go, down a dangerous road that eventually leads to questions of how many women you've slept with, or whether or not you're a superficial scumbag that doesn't appreciate fat girls, so forth.

Everyone thinks that these guys should think of their wives and families before going to a hooker or sleeping with a friend's wife. I say otherwise. I say that these guys need to think of us, sitting on the coach. No hockey game tonight, dear, we're going to have Gloria Steinem fly in and kick you in the balls.

It is axiomatic that women will think that a man going to a call girl is a scumbag, but never once mention the call girl and where she might lie on the morality chart.

Photos: Reuters/NY Post