Cosmo Girls - Ask Me Anything

I was flipping through the latest issue of Cosmo to keep an eye on what the fairer sex are up to. I stumbled upon the "Ask Him Anything" section. This is the part of the magazine where unknown women write in and, we're told, some great guy has wonderful advice for them.

I think his answers are lame and terribly long winded. Here's my take:

I've been seeing this guy and the chemistry is great. Whenever we're together, we never stop talking. The problem is, he never calls between get-togethers. He texts and emails me, but I want him to call. Should I say something?

If you say something, he will probably start calling you now and then, because he'll be afraid to lose his booty text. Sorry, but that's what you are. I would put the chances of him having another girlfriend at 50-50. The chances that he's sleeping with two or more other women is 90%. I can almost guarantee he's on a dating website.

For the first time in my life, I'm involved in a fling with a guy. But recently, he started bringing emotions into the mix. I just want to have fun! I thought that's what all men wanted.

Well, let's start by skipping the lie about you being involved in a fling for the "first time in your life." Ms. Holier Than Thou decided to wake up one day and start flinging, huh? Right. Anyway, don't worry about it. If you're after a fling, than you shouldn't care what he thinks and just move onto another fling. Wait. What's that? He's presently your only fling? Well then, say hello to your new boyfriend.

I've been dating my boyfriend for more than a year, and we live together now. Things are great: he's supportive, and our sex life is fantastic. But he doesn't trust me, and he makes comments about my "other boyfriends." What's his problem?

He's probably a jealous headcase. Now that you live with him, you're pretty screwed. Good luck.

I'm 26-years-old and a virgin. Whenever I tell a guy that I haven't done it, he disappears. I'm so frustrated that I'm ready to have sex just so I won't keep scaring away potential boyfriends. How can I tell a guy and not freak him out?

Who have you been dating? Any guy that hears he's got a 26-year-old virgin on his hands would be saying, "Game on." However, if you've waited 8 months to tell the guy and he thinks he's not going to score unless you get married, forget it. Just the way the world works today.

I broke up with my ex more than five years ago, and he is one of my best friends. He's in a new relationship, and his girlfriend is great. However, he's never told her that we used to date. He just calls me an "old friend." I feel like he's lying, and it's sleazy. I've talked to him about it, and he says he just doesn't want to cause drama. What should I do?

He's not being sleazy. You broke up more than five years ago. He's gotten on with his life. Get on with yours. If he thinks it's an issue, he'll do what you just did and tell his girlfriend that the two of you "dated." That could be dinner and movie, or a slice of pizza. He'll tone it down to three dates and make it sound like it meant nothing. If you prefer that, then have him do it. If you want him to tell her how wonderful you were, that you were great in the sack, and that he cherished every moment of your relationship but it didn't work out for one reason or another...forget it. Also, in the game of girl space friend vs. girlfriend, you're going to lose, especially if you instigate the problem.

Dr. Sean appears on Oprah and is a regular contributor to Better Homes and Gardens.