Hillary for President

How's that for throwing my friends out of their chairs?

Hillary for President? Berry's finally hit the crack pipe and no rehab in the world can straighten him out.

Not quite. I'm a Canadian, so it doesn't matter a damn what I think. Still, I'm watching the Super Tuesday primaries right now, and I'm struck by a few thoughts.

1) If a Republican wins it will be a miracle. The coverage given to the Democratic candidates (Clinton and Obama) is about ten times that of the Republicans. In this election, without an incumbent with the bully pulpit of the presidency, the Republican candidates are going to be hard pressed to deliver a message. The press have decided that McCain is a Republican left-winger, and that Huckabee is an evangelical weirdo. Those views will remain the same all the way into November, no matter how many speeches they give, meaning McCain is the man. As for Romney, forget it. Good-looking guys that run for President are supposed to be Democrats, and the press will never allow him to go against type. They've given him no air time, and his results show it.

All in all, it's a shame about Huckabee: he's the best speaker from both parties, and his ex-disc jockey skills come in handy on the stump. Believe it or not, the man can actually tell a decent joke.

2) Obama and Clinton are the story of this election cycle, and not merely because the press vote 90% Democratic. Race and gender are facing off in a country that once had slaves and didn't allow women to vote. To ignore that this primary cycle could be historical would be silly.

3) I am beginning to wonder when the hit-jobs on Obama and Clinton will come. So far, the press have been content to hammer Hillary because of her husband, but haven't hammered her directly for anything in her own past (or lack of it; before becoming a NY Senator, her public service was an outsider's disastrous attempt at health care reform).

I am betting that they hit Hillary pretty hard in the coming month, at least until a clear front runner is decided. If she becomes the Democratic candidate, they will handle her with kid gloves from then on and throttle McCain. If the press wanted to go after Obama, they would have done it already, about his naive views on foreign policy, his affiliation with a racist church, his drug use, and his bobbing and weaving regarding his childhood upbringing (though he did say that being a kid in Indonesia has helped him prepare for foreign policy; cool! That should make me a shoo-in as Prime Minister).

4) McCain, like Obama, gives me unsettling thoughts about seeing him in the White House. The press adore his candor, but what is he being candid about? His biggest fight in the last few years has been campaign finance reform. And, with due respect, who the hell cares about that? When he speaks he attempts humor and comes off as sarcastic. He constantly talks about his war hero status from forty years ago, but that was forty years ago. Which reminds me, the man is damned old, and I'm not sure if he's not a little nuts. Plus, his speaking voice sucks.

So why do I say Hillary? Because she's a known value. Obama talks about change, change, change, but never says exactly what this change is going to be. Free money for everybody? Ice cream on every street corner? The man's commentary regarding world terrorism could fit into a sock. He has said that he will hold discussions with any dictator that asks for a Presidential chat, and he brags about not voting for the Iraq war. But notice this: he never says what he would have done instead. Everybody and their mother thought Saddam had WMD, and the UN security council voted to punish him for it. So what would Obama's answer have been, beyond a "no" vote? I would like to hear an answer to that question, but it's a question that will never be asked.

Hillary is unashamedly a bitch. She can fight dirty, and she probably likes it that way. She may have ripped people off in a land deal years ago, and if she didn't, she probably wishes that she had. She's tried the tear-jerky stuff a couple of times, and then canned it, because it isn't her. I get the feeling that the Hillary Clinton you see is the Hillary Clinton you get. You know you can't trust her, and that's okay. To paraphrase an old line, I can handle my enemies. God save me from my friends.

I can live with a distrustful Hillary more than I can live with a man that talks in riddles about "change" and "hope" but doesn't have a concrete word to say about virtually anything.

As for the rest of the world, they'll be lining up to kiss Hillary or Barack's ass. Me, I don't think the US needs to care about other countries "respecting them again," but if they think it's so important, I've got news for them: everybody's always hated the States, and they always will. When I was a kid, I remember reading a Canadian newspaper article called, "Why You Should Hate America." So is this the return that you're looking for?

Unless McCain makes major headway in the next half-year, I predict a Democratic president, and a Republican Congress to keep her in check.