The Uninvited - Review

Director: The Guard Brothers
Writer: A whole lot of people
Starring: Elizabeth Banks/David Strathairn
Runtime: 87 minutes

This is one those reviews that starts with, "Do I have to?"

Write it, that is.

I guess I do, because I haven't written a movie review in a while and I'm feeling guilty. But...do I have to?

All right, here goes:

1) The movie starts with a dream sequence.

2) Throughout the movie, there's a lot of dream sequences.

3) The heroine, Anna (Emily Browning), is a nutso kid who can't get over the death of her mother. She thinks the nanny did it.

4) The nanny, Rachel (Elizabeth Banks), has been boffing Anna's dad since Anna's mom died in an accident.

5) Spooky ghosts haunt Anna's dreams. Since this movie is yet another remake of an Asian horror flick, the ghosts walk bent over backwards and make weird noises at the backs of their throats. Old.

6) Anna's sister walks around in a bikini all the time, probably to draw the teenage boy crowd.

7) David Strathairn plays Anna's dad. He's a great actor. I have no idea why he's in this movie, but hey, money's money.

8) See this movie if you're really bored, or have a 14-year-old daughter. It's tame enough for the teen crowd, but it's only a must-see if you're a total horror junkie.

9) Seeing this movie reminded me that good, original horror flicks are very hard to come by. Very. The best part about it was, being a teen horror flick, I knew it wouldn't be longer than 90 minutes.

There. Did it. Now on with my day.

Photo: Yahoo Movies