Super Flop Me

Poor Hollywood.

After years of making anti-war, anti-American, anti-soldier flicks in the post-9/11 world, they finally realized that audiences weren't interested. So, to switch things up and make some cash, they've listened to their marketing people and will now release...movies that make fun of Americans in the post-9/11 world.

Here's a heads up from Jeff Ressner:

Over the next few weeks, theaters will be screening far-out fare such as an Osama bin Laden documentary by the maker of “Super Size Me”; an absurdist slam against merchants of war featuring John Cusack; a zombie soldier flick with XXX star Jenna Jameson; a stoner movie about Guantanamo Bay; and a Sept. 11 parody — yes, parody — made by Uwe Boll, a little-known filmmaker often ridiculed as the worst director in Hollywood since Ed Wood.

I couldn't care less what kind of movies a director wants to make. But if this is Hollywood's answer to super-flops like Redacted and Lions for Lambs, they're in for a real beating this summer.

Director Peter Berg wondered if he'd gone too far when an audience saw The Kingdom and applauded when the good guys kicked some ass. He thought it might be American bloodlust.

No, Pete. You didn't go too far. It's just that you made the only movie about Americans in the last eight years that showed the good guys winning for a change. The heroes weren't high on drugs, didn't hate their homeland, didn't rape or torture anyone, believed in their mission, and had brains to match their brawn. It was a good flick, one that audiences had been desperate for.

Unfortunately, Hollywood hasn't learned its lesson. A bin Laden documentary by the guy who ate junk food for a month and stunned himself by putting on the pounds. I can't wait for his humorous and authoritative take on terrorism.