And Now, The Weather

When I was a kid, I used to wonder why the weatherman always had to stand outside when he did the weather. Being Toronto, it usually meant he was standing in a snow squall or a hail storm, but no matter. There he'd be, the Fearless Weathermen, neck deep in snow, parka flapping in the breeze, breath whisked away on a -10 breeze (-50 with the windchill).

Over time, the Fearless Weatherman became the Hearty Weathergirl. Blonde hair whipping in the wind as her cap flew off, or yelping in surprise when some smartass chucked a snowball at her head.

Weather guys always have to stand outside in bad weather. I never get that. If the weather's nice, they stand inside and provide comedy relief for the morning show. But if the weather turns ugly, they race into the path of destruction to do exactly what they could have done from the safety of the studio: tell you that it's raining, as if we wouldn't believe it unless we saw the weather guy get flattened.

Tuning in to the Gustav coverage a couple of days ago reminded me why I love Weather People so much. Just when I need someone to show me how dense media types are, in comes the "meteorologist." Their title leads us to believe that these are very smart people, making complex decisions about the forces of nataure. In fact, they are idiots that don't know enough to come in from the rain.

A few years back, during the media's love affair with Katrina, I remember one moron standing in the street, struggling to remain on his feet. He yelled that it was very windy. He yelled that it was raining very hard. Then he picked up a piece of wood, let it go, and watched it roll away down the street. He repeated that it was windy. Finally he said he was going to find some cover, ran back to the cameraman, huddled against the wall, said his own dumbass name, and was promptly hit by another gust of wind and face planted the cement. He then got up and said he'd find more cover.

The anchorwoman said, "Good idea, Brian," chuckle, chuckle.

Weather guys always require laughter. They're the clowns of the media, entertaining us when things get bad. Though their colleagues always say, "Be careful out there," at the end of every clip, secretly the anchors want the weather guys to get their heads cut off by flying sheet metal. Makes for great video, and allows the anchor to raise an eyebrow in the Face Of Great Concern.

Another favourite of mine is the weather girl from the Weather Channel. I think it was during Hurricane Dolly. She was being pelted by rain and could barely stand on her feet. She yelled that the back window of the crew's SUV had already been blown out--and then she was cut off, as a gust of wind threw her face first into another SUV. Let's go to the video:



You be careful out there.