As I Was Saying (V)

Well, well. Another lefty feminist, another violent screed against Sarah Palin.

Yes, yes, "I told you so," but this rant is a little different. It comes from Heather Mallick over at the CBC. She's a self-described feminist/author/journalist, and, unlike most of the journalists outside of China and Cuba, she is paid by the state (that's where the CBC gets a lot of its dough, in case you've forgotten).

Let's go to press:

Mallick
Palin has a toned-down version of the porn actress look favoured by this decade's woman, the overtreated hair, puffy lips and permanently alarmed expression. Bristol [Palin's daughter] has what is known in Britain as the look of the teen mum, the "pramface." Husband Todd looks like a roughneck; Track, heading off to Iraq, appears terrified. They claim to be family obsessed while being studiously terrible at parenting. What normal father would want Levi "I'm a fuckin' redneck" Johnson prodding his daughter?

I know that I have an attachment to children that verges on the irrational, but why don't the Palins? I'm not the one preaching homespun values but I'd destroy that ratboy before I'd let him get within scenting range of my daughter again, and so would you. Palin's e-mails about the brother-in-law she tried to get fired as a state trooper are fizzing with rage and revenge. Turn your guns on Levi, ma'am.

If you've never read Mallick's stuff, you'd probably think she's a satirist. But you're wrong. She's simply an arrogant, shameless woman who enjoys penning hate speech. In two paragraphs of state subsidized virtriol, she's managed to call Palin a porno actress, trash her son, husband, and daughter, tell you that she would destroy a teenager and that you would to, and advises Palin to shoot him herself.

Gee, Heather. Anything else?

As it happens, yes:

American politics isn't short of smart women. Susan Eisenhower, Ike's granddaughter, who just endorsed Obama, made an extraordinary speech at the Democratic convention (and a terrific casual appearance on The Colbert Report as Palin was speaking). The Republican party has already consumed nearly all of its moderate "seed corn," she said aptly. Time to start again.

Eisenhower, a scholar and journalist, has a point. Or am I only saying that because she's part of the thoughtful demographic that I'm trying to reach here? Think, Heather, think like a Republican! The Skeptics, shall I call them, are my base, and I'll pander to them as ardently as the Republican patriarchs tease their white female marginals.

Got it. Scholar and journalist = good people. White female Republican = marginal. Bingo. Palin's a porn bimbo because she's a Republican. Scorn her, smear her family, advise destruction. Susan Eisenhower, whom you've never heard of, is a Democrat. My, how the angels sing. I will bet you anything that if there was an (R) in front of Eisenhower's name, Mallick could brew up a ton of mud to sling her way. Since there isn't, let's leave her family and bra size out of it.

But let's be frank. If Mallick wants to make appearance an issue, fine. Given a choice between Hot-Lips-Naughty-Librarian Palin and Granny-Necklace-Heavyweight-Fighter-Jaw Mallick, 9 out of 10 men pick Palin, and the other guy is in the john and can't vote. To judge by the photos, Palin has weathered the harsh Alaskan winters a lot better than Mallick has survived the Big City cocktail circuit. That, too, is no doubt a big source of Mallick's hatred for a woman she probably hadn't heard of until a week ago.

It is the left wing feminists' transparency that makes me grin. Their movement has always preached equality, but like all leftists, their view of equality is taken from Animal Farm (the book, Heather, not the porno). To paraphrase: All women are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Here's Mallick on September 5th, in The Guardian. In this piece she inadvertently gets to the root of her psychosis as a threatened snob:

My credentials are solid; Palin cannot out-hick me. Until I fled at 18, I never lived in a northern town of more than 12,000 people. My towns were full of Sarah Palins. These types are fine, such as they are, until they leave town and turn fraudulent. They label themselves "the salt of the earth". It's when they try to make that a qualification for a greater glory that things turn unpleasant.

I never claimed a higher moral standing for coming from a great big empty on the map. Small towns are places that smart people escape from, for privacy, for variety, for intellect, for survival. Palin should have stayed home...What is native to [Palin] is smugness, her certainty that what's good for Wasilla is good for the world in all its infinite variety. It's a variety that Palin will never begin to grasp.

Now I get it. The whole wonderful world is Mallick's playpen. How dare another hick come out to spoil all of the fun. Mallick, of course, has the wit and wisdom to interpret the world in all of its infinite variety. Palin, dummy that she is, should be at home changing diapers.

The McCain/Palin ticket is manna from Heaven. If you've been waiting for these hypocrites of equality to come out of the closet and expose what they really think, then enjoy the ride. It's going to be a long one.

Photos: Blog Critic Magazine and Times Online