Shiver Their Timbers

There are no reliable estimates of the number of pirates operating in Somalia, but they must number in the thousands. And though the bandits do sometimes get nabbed, piracy is generally considered a sure bet to a better life.

And that line pretty much says it all.

Tonight I heard a CBC report, where a reporter talked about "non-lethal" methods of dealing with pirates. That line says it all, too.

People are getting a history lesson. Piracy isn't pretty. Never was, never will be. Pirates of the Caribbean looks great when the pirate who hijacks your ship is named Johnny Depp. It's not so great when the pirate takes you to Somalia to spend weeks and months waiting for someone to cough up a ransom.

This week's capture of a supertanker changes the game completely. When the booty a pirate captures is worth $100 million, the ransom demand will be so high that hostages could end up sitting in Somalia for over a year while people haggle. Then again, the pirates could just decide to shoot a few hostages to make a point, in which case at least the hostages don't have to wait in Somalia anymore.

We're seeing why the Royal Navy had no patience for pirates, and hanged or sank them any chance they could get. There was no talk of "non-lethal weapons" for pirates back in the day, and there shouldn't be now. There was also no jail time for pirates who were "nabbed." If you were nabbed as a pirate, you were dead as a human being.

I've got a sinking feeling about this. Someway, somehow, the UN and other fools will manage to make this a political problem and turn it into a focus group on Somalian poverty. The Sea Chart to Peace will be placed on the agenda, and the shipping lanes will become the hometown of thugs.

To think that all of the world's "powerful" nations are going to be held hostage to a bunch of goons with boats is disgusting. Nine ships have been seized in the past two weeks. The "powerful" countries best get their act together before the UN gets too involved and wants to talk.

If the countries don't take action, then the only chance to steal the initiative back is for the large export companies to hire men with boats and guns, and tell them to start sinking things. Now. Attention must also be turned to raiding Somalia's pirate towns, sinking their ships, and burning down their mansions. Turn the piracy business from a good life to an extremely horrible, guaranteed dead one.

From the CBC: In Haradhere, residents came out in droves to celebrate as the looming oil ship came into focus this week off the country's lawless coast. Businessmen started gathering cigarettes, food and cold glass bottles of orange soda, setting up small kiosks for the pirates who come to shore to re-supply almost daily.

Sounds like a great place to start shivering some timbers. Ready...aim...